Dr. Laura Schlessinger

The anonymous open letter that surfaced in 2000:

Dr. Laura, the ultra-right-wing conservative radio talk show host, has said that she has become an observant Orthodox Jew and in doing so has claimed homosexuality an abomination in accordance with Leviticus 18:22
and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura that was posted on the internet.

“Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s law. I have learned a great deal from your show and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination…End of debate.

However, I do need some advice from you regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them:

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness – Lev. 15:19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar of sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor to the Lord – Lev. 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have an defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden in Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11: 6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev. 25:10-16)? Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.”

I challenge ANYONE reading to argue with this… please, I need a laugh. Or also, anyone feel free to explain why homosexuality was picked out of all the different sins and abominations to be the big issue in America. Why shouldn’t the others be followed as well? I mean, it’s only fair..right?


And Dr. Laura.. now THAT’s a piece of work. Calling her son in Afghanistan a hero.. check out what was found on his myspace page! Pretty sure they’re of his own creation..



Excerpts from a blog entry…

“Before I left L.A. I destroyed my life. I killed every friendship. I hurt a loving devoted and sweet girlfriend, driving her to bulemia and sex with strange men for a sense of caring, a caring I robed her of. I slept with another girl gazing into her eyes, wispering sweetly “I’ll love you forever” knowing damn fucking well I was leaving for a year. I crashed my car. Threw handfulls of nickles at whores and people walking to church alike. Then threw food, then silverware, then back to nickles.”

“I fucked everything up so bad that there was only the future. I was lonely. I’m not anymore. I except my blessing and curse. I love that my life is like getting head from the most beautiful big titted blonde with a double barreled shotgun in my mouth and everytime I want to cum the trigger pulls back just enough to think about burning dead puppies and AIDS. I envy people who’s luck has run out, they know what to do to mold the future. Any day at any moment my luck will run out. I don’t think about it though, hinders my ability to just wing it, Join the Army.”

WOW I don’t think a woman whose son turned out like this should give advice to anyone. Kinda like how Britney Spears’ mom was going to write a parenting book. And I gotta say, I feel really proud to be an American, knowing that’s the kind of lowlife motherfuck that’s representing and defending this country. It’s no surprise we’re a greatly hated nation.. not when you remember who’s out there in our name.

Furthermore, she’s a big steaming pile of bullshit. After naked pictures taken of her in the 70’s were made public, her audience learned that she is an adulterer, she intentionally had a kid out of wedlock and cohabited with a man before marriage. No big deal really, except that she explicitly denounces such behavior in others. Sure people change, but keeping that a secret and denying it all when it first comes out? Accepting your past and embracing it as a part of you, even if you aren’t proud of it.. that’s better than denying what you know to be true. Because then you’re a liar too. Clearly she’s not a real person and instead is merely a manifestation of the way she wants the world to see her… it’s also possible she’s just a hologram.


~ by jbird. on November 12, 2008.

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